Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
