alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
