My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
