is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
