champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
