i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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