is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
