i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
