doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
