You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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