I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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