I think scott just propositioned me for sex
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
