Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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