I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
