This is the prime rib incident all over again
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
