i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
