I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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