He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
