Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
not ubering you a puppy
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
