I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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