He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
