i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
