how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
