whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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