is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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