i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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