Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
