so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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