He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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