well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
