I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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