its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
