Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
