my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
