Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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