we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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