have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
