I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
