I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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