If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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