Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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