I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
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