Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he was CRYING into my vagina
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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