quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
