Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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