You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
