i don't like sucking hair
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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