Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
