You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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