Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
