HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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