how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
