you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
