I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
