Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
